Existing Staff vs New Staff

I just don't understand the practice of employer. They are willing to pay more for hiring new staff rather than retaining the existing staff with the same amount of salary. In the end, the musical chair game begins, i.e. staff #1 used to be in Company A now is working in Company B due to 30% (or more) jump in basic pay whilst staff #2 used to work in Company B is now in Company A for the same reason.

I'm one of the example in the scenario mentioned above. I have been in the previous company for almost 4 years. I was so satisfied with the first and second remuneration that I had. However, during the third remuneration, things became stagnant. The management's rationale is that slightly lower basic salary will be compensated with good bonus (this practice is still applicable till now). However, my bonus was anyhow better. Hence, I decided to leave the place for 30% jump in basic pay. In fact, the incremental was more than 30%.

After I tendered my resignation, the department head refuse to talk to me at all. As the team leader was so eager to retain me, then only the department head tried to talk to me. However, the talk was useless as he started the conversation by scolding me to have chosen to leave the place for the 30% increment and I still remembered his word "我唔咗你发达'. As usual, I just smiled at him politely.

He has been working in the place for more than 20 years since he first started to work. He enjoys all the benefits (e.g. e-source, car allowance & etc) offered by the employer as he is a management staff. Employee at my age is only looking for the salary amount. I am still at executive level in which money is always the first item in my mind.

After my resignation, the vacancy was replaced by another lady who has working experience of less than two years. Her basic pay may be slightly lower than mine (at that time) by 5% as she jumped from another company. Why can't the company adjust my increment at the first place so that I would stay?

It's a true fact and the trend that employer nowadays prefers to hire new staff than to retain existing staff with the same amount of money. So, when there is opportunity, just go ahead for the jump. Loyalty is a good attribute but however management has misused it. Morale is no longer applicable.

Even though I may not be as happy as in the previous place, but it is compensated with the 30% jump in my basic pay. Furthermore, I'm entitled for the auto-increment although I am still under probation.

I rather become a new staff with 30% increment in basic pay.

忐忑不安的心情

不知道怎么了。。。心，很忐忑不安。
工作上的事情，令我很忐忑不安。是我不够好，不了解自己所在的工作岗位，还是公司制度的问题呢？
原以为这个星期可以比较轻松，因为这个月的 renewal 已经全 approved 了。
昨天，老板突然告诉我，说有份 urgent 的 paper，这个礼拜必须把它做好，呈交给新加坡的同事过目。
手上还有两份 urgent 的 paper 还未赶好，今天必须先把它们赶完，再继续另一份 paper，要 reply queries，过后才能继续新的 paper。
我的 time management，的确出了问题。

解梦

今早，梦见自己在帮一只母山羊接生，醒后，感觉怪怪的。
我尝试在 Google 查看解梦的网页，有提到梦见山羊及绵羊的解说，但没有关于帮山羊接生的解说。
有谁可以提供资料？

Depressive Episode

Am I having mild depression? Or depressive episode?

My heart is feeling very unsecured without any concrete reason.

The reason that I could think of is tomorrow will be a working day & this week is the last week of the month & all my works are hanging.

I feel like I'm not capable anymore to do my job. I'm fatigue of my job.

Sometimes, I daydream in office. I could hardly concentrate.

During weekend, I spend whole day at home streaming all kinds of drama series & horror movies.

Even so, I can get ride off my unsecured feeling & worried.

Sometimes, I spend whole day lying on my bed without taking any meals & going to toilet.

I have lost interest in doing things.

This is the symptom of depressive episode, I guess.

I have to learn my breathing technique to calm myself.

Probably some forms of exercise will help me to reduce my negative emotions.

Confusion

I'm confused. Do I actually like my current job?

I'm totally lost of interest on everything... It's not because I'm going for operation.

I feel like going back to primary school time, where I didn't really have friends.

Talking to people in office is like a tough job to me.

With all the negative feelings, I keep wondering am I suitable to my current job.

Is it because I'm too used to the previous job where I have many colleagues who are friends to me?

Or I'm just getting tired on the job itself?

Or I'm too lazy to work?

Why I can't be more money-minded & don't bother about anything around me?

Just get the job done for the day, then go back home & rest well.

Every morning, I find myself hard to wake up to work. I keep lying on my bed & hope that I'm sick so that I can take MC.

I feel like crying at the moment. Am I too stressed?

I have to learn from others, not to overwhelmed with working emotions. After office hour, just continue with my personal life well.

I'm too emotional in everything, till all the emotions from all aspects kick into other areas.

My hatred feeling towards my brother...

My unsecured feeling on the unscheduled operation...

My worries about my mum...

My work...

All feelings & emotions are mixed up.

I can hardly understand myself.

I'm confused. Is it resulted from my job of choice or family matter or health matter? I really wonder.