INSTINCT

钱

2010-10-23T03:16:00.001-07:00

看着AirAsia的网站，突然觉得心酸。
感觉到从未为自己安排过任何旅程，和祥祥、家人或朋友。
虽然明年四月中会和朋友重游古晋，却提不起劲。
在为钱而烦恼。。。
钱，令人头疼的坏家伙。。。

生病记

2010-10-23T01:49:00.000-07:00

生病了！
喉咙过度＂干枯＂而不能发声，对于爱说话的我是种折磨。
辣的、口味重的、热气的食物都暂时不能吃，对于馋嘴的我是种痛苦。
真希望赶快好起来。

手放开

2010-09-14T06:48:00.000-07:00

爱，怎么了？
好友的恋情令我摸不着头脑。
原以为已结束的一段情，竟然重燃了！
还是另一方执着的不能把手放开呢？

自足长乐

2010-09-07T07:47:00.000-07:00

好友曾在某某人面前说我是个容易满足（easily contented）的女生，某某人却反驳说这是种灾害 (disastrous）。
对于这个说法，我想了很久，也曾问过身边的朋友，却得不到确实的答案。

自足常乐之道，真的又那么困难吗？
拥有数不尽的要求，才算好吗？
把要求放底，活得较开心，不是很好吗？

开心的日子，已经离我很远了。
所以只能凡事要求中庸，就能满足，才会感到一丝丝的安慰。

平凡的一生得到少许的满足感，已很幸运。

单纯的狗狗

2010-09-05T01:47:00.000-07:00

刚看完了狗狗的故事，好感人。
我也因此哭了，哈哈，突然觉得自己好感性。

人与人的关系，包含了互相猜疑、不信任，、不坦诚、机心重等等。
而狗狗对其主人，是百分信任与忠诚，决无猜疑。

人是万物之灵，却很贫乏。
狗狗虽然不会说话，但生活很充裕。
在狗狗的眼里，主人是一切。但其主人呢？

刚开始狗狗是其一切的动力。
渐渐地，饲养狗狗变成一种习惯。
再过一段日子，狗狗变成一种累赘。
从热情转变成冷淡，狗狗不再受到重视。
但，狗狗依然忠心耿耿。

狗狗很单纯，总是自足常乐。
人与人的关系也能如此吗？

烦心

2010-09-02T08:44:00.000-07:00

今天，很心烦，因为老板的态度。。。
没办法啦，他是我老板嘛。。。
员工如我只好埋头苦干罢了。。。
难得老公今天休息，也得加班一小时。
对不起，老公，让你一个闷在家里。
明天星期五了，希望可以准时放工。

婚姻

2010-08-28T23:13:00.000-07:00

看到友人的结婚照，突然有股冲动想结婚。
深层再想，我还未ready。
结婚的确是两家口儿的事，并非新郎与新娘的事。
结婚生儿育女是很美妙的，但目前并不是时候，原因为我需要先take care 自己的家。
还是保持原状为好。

Back to Blogspot

2010-08-21T03:43:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time I didn't write blog.
Reason being - Internet.
Another reason - Work.

I changed the whole "appearance" of my blog.
A fresh new "me".

Internship Report; A Depressed Report; A Bad Programme

2008-05-13T23:12:00.000-07:00

I've lost 10% for my internship report.
The reason is I passed it up late.
My lecturer told me that the due date was 3rd of May.
I passed it up on 8th of May.
I thought I've followed the instruction stated in the internship manual.
Pass up within a week after end of internship.
I thought I've passed it up earlier.

10% for the report.
And another 10% for the evaluation given by my site supervisor.
So, I've lost 20% in total.

I cried for a few days and thought of commiting suicide.
I thought of various ways of making my lecturer(s) feel regret.
Commit suicide might be the best way.
I thought of cutting my wrist and took a nice shot of the wound.
Then, MMS it to all my lecturers.
I thought of carrying out in my home during the weekend.
Somehow, I've no courage to do so.
I thought about my parents' feelings and my little Xean Xean's feelings.

Soon, I returned to my internship place.
I thought of cutting my wrist in the midnight in the hostel.
I'd let my blood dry up.
My bed in the hostel is totally in white colour.
So, it'd be extremely artistic with the colour of my blood.
I thought for a long time.
I cried.
However, it was just a thought.
No action was taken.

I realise that my depression episode is happening more frequently.
I can't help myself.
I can't stop thinking about ways to sabotage myself.
I'll feel relief once I hurt myself, regardless of the size of the wound.

I just read a book called "Suspect".
It's a story about a psychologist in his way to prove himself to be innocent in a homicide case.
The victim was Catherine.
She was once the psychologist's patient, with a tendency of sabotaging herself when she was sad.
I found that I'm Catherine.
I like to sabotaging myself.
After doing so, I'll be very happy.

The internship report has made me suffer from depressive episode for a few days.
I really dislike my programme.
It's a suck.
I always blame on my one of my lecturers.
He was the one who didn't allow me to change to another programme which I love so much.
I hate him.
He promised he'd let me go once I finished first year in the current programme.\
He lied to me.
He never thought of letting his students to change to any other programmes of their interest.
I'm in a field which makes me suffer from insomnia and hypertension.

I feel that I'm lucky that I can still blog right now.
I always think of "what if..." in many circumstances.

I really hate the programme even though I'm moving towards the end of my study.
Sound very sarcastic.

I've to learn to love myself.
I need support to stop sabotaging myself.
It'll end up with too many wounds then if I don't control.
It hurts.

xpp

Counselling

2008-04-22T03:02:00.000-07:00

I'm not keen on doing counselling session.
I feel like I'm burned out.
I'm satisfied with the treatment that I received in this place.
Yet, I'm not a good, or professional, counsellor, or counsellor trainee.
I'm still thinking of switching to other fields, maybe HR, financial, logistic, commodity, for instance.
After listening to buddy's experience in the world of work, I feel doubtful and confused about my own career.
Of course my lecturers are hoping their students to register as a liciensed counsellor.
Somehow, I don't feel like doing so.
It's not that I'm scared of the Board of Counsellor, it's that I'm not really suitable to the counselling field.
Counselling is a helping profession and I like to help others (it's because I don't know how to say "No").
Still, I'm not that outstanding in this field.
And I'd trouble myself for being so-called helpful to others.
Counselling is a good field of study and a profession with good future perspective.
I'm not in the field.
It does help me to improve myself in controlling my emotions and getting to know myself better.
Still, I couldn't help myself.
It's like the Chinese proverb: "Neng Yi Bu Neng Zi Yi".
It means doctor can heal people but not himself.
I feel that I'm in this situation and condition.
I can counselling people but I can't do it for my own.
I can't even try to ease myself with rational thought at times.
Maybe I need to meet with some experienced counsellors or social workers so that they can help me in dealing with "the little myself" inside my heart.
It's really a hard thing to think of.

XPP

Trips during Internship

2008-04-22T02:45:00.000-07:00

Although I'm dissatisfied with one of the intern in the organisation that I'm attached with, I'm happy with the workload here.
I've chances to travel to places that due to programmes that organised by the organisations.
I travelled to Muar, Johor together with Chief Inspector Chumil (now is ASP Chumil) due to a lecture on stress management.
Within the week, I travelled there again due to the ice-breaking part of the basic communication course.
Thus, I've been there twice.
Then, I went back to Ipoh during Chinese New Year without any payment because I was going back with Sub-Inspector Jelani and Sergeant Alias using the police car.
In March, I went to Merlimau, Malacca due to a programme organised by the civilian counsellors.
I was supposed to go to Ayer Hitam, Terengganu and Sungai Petani, Kedah according to the schedule of the civilian counsellors.
I didn't go since one of the intern here made complain about the trip to Merlimau in front of my beloved site supervisor.
As a result, my site supervisor was so angry with the civilian counsellors as till she didn't allow the three of us to follow any trip organised by them.
However, I'll be going to Cherating, Pahang in the coming Sunday without any payment.
My beloved site supervisor'll share her room with me.
And the participants are very sporting police officers.
It's really a great experience in this place.
There are a mother, father, sister and other family members in the office.
Everyone is so lovely and helpful.
Everyone is helping me in getting my credit hours willingly.
I feel appreciated in this place very much.
It's a good place to undergo internship.

XPP

Dissatisfaction

2008-04-16T04:27:00.000-07:00

Finally, there is someone who knows my condition and feelings.
I'm not the fire stone to make them quarrel.
I just want to share my emotions so that I won't be overwhelmed with dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
I thought I'm the only one being bullied.
The others also feel the same that I'm bullied by the so-called brilliant student.
The so-called brilliant student always makes others feel down by sharing his experience that he can handle EVERYTHING and no one could question or compete with him.
Is it he is so BRILLIANT?
Well, I think he has low self-esteem.
He just wants to ensure that his self-esteem is higher than others by showing off.
DISGUSTING!!!
EXTREMELY DISGUSTING!!!
Now, I feel that he is really a JERK.
A JERK who makes me feel sick.
How could a counselling student have such attitude?
From MU...
I really wonder.
Talking about professionalism, he always complains that the civilian officers are very bad and not professional at all in organising programme.
He never thinks about himself or looks back and evaluates his attitude and behaviours.
He is not professional as well.
I think laziness is the dominant factor contributes to his poor attitude and behaviours.
Whenever another intern or I asks him to give lecture or help in handling programme, his answer is always NO.
Somehow, he claims the credit in his log book.
When another intern and I are giving lecture or helping in programme, he is chatting via the Internet using Yahoo messenger.
SO UNFAIR!!!
It's fine if he doesn't want to do the work .
I can accept it.
BUT dON'T CLAIM CREDIT FOR THINGS THAT YOU DIDN'T DO!!!
AND NEVER COMMENT ON OTHER PEOPLE'S WORK WHEN YOU ARE ONLY A PASSIVE MEMBER!!!
NOT PASSIVE, BUT NEVER CONTRIBUTE ANYTHING!!!
JERK!!!
JERK!!!
JERK!!!
Luckily, my internship will be finished very soon.
I'll only keep in touch with another intern.
I feel sick to contact him.
He knows very well about empathy but never practises it.
Really a BIG CHEAP ASS HOLE!!!
I'm extremely angry with him.

xpp

Experience in the Royal Malaysia Police

2008-04-13T04:29:00.000-07:00

I think it's really a great choice that I chose RMP as my internship place.
I gained a lot of experience there.
I learnt how to make sure people are comfortable with me and my work.
I learnt how to pretend myself.
I learnt how to control my emotion rather than letting it control me.
I learnt how to be helpful.
I learnt how to be systematic my my work.
I learnt ... ... ...
I couldn't list out one by one.
I learnt a lot.
Some of my friends are worried about me.
They are worried that I can't cope with the internship as it's a stressful so-called subject.
Internship, it's really stressful but I've to overcome it.
I can't let it overtake me.
My life is under my control.
I've faith in me.
I'm thankful that I went for the Silva Mind course.
I learnt how to be confident with myself.
I'm on my way to boost up my confidence.
I must do the best for myself.
RMP is a great field.
It taught me a lot.
I hope my juniors can have the same experience or even more experience when he or she is attached to RMP.

("v")

Internship

2008-04-13T04:15:00.000-07:00

There'll be 2 more weeks to go to finish my internship.
I intend to extend the duration till the end of April.
I'm supposed to finished on April 25th 2008.
I think I should finished on April 30t 2008.
It's for my own convenience and as well for my beloved site supervisor.
Besides, I haven't finished with my individual session.
I can't just refer my clients to other counsellor.
I think it's irresponsible.
I'm not saying that I'm a responsible girl.
I'm not.
I just feel that I must be ethical in doing my internship.
Actually, I'm tired with the internship.
There are too many things to fufilled.
At times, I think I'm unable to cope with it.
Luckily, my beloved site supervisor and my lecturer are very supportive.
They both motivate me a lot during th internship.
Needless to say about a course mate of mine.
She's really helpful.
She inspires me a lot.
There is a short period of time I feel hard to leave my internship place.
It's because there are too many good things and memorabe experience that I gained throughout the internship.
Another important notion is that I feel that I'm not yet ready for the world of work.
I'm too kind-hearted till that others like to bully me.
I'm not strong enough to protect myself from being bullied by others.
I need some more time to gain the strength to fight back.
However, thers's always a termination in gaining experience in a field.
Then, the journey of gaining new experience has to continue in another field.
I must step out from there and enter to a new world or a new environment.
It's what we called as life.
I shall start a new life ahead.

~("v")~

Election

2008-02-25T22:34:00.000-08:00

It's time to be a voter.
I'll go back to Ipoh, my lovely hometown, in order to contribute my vote for the country.
I'm thinking of going back on next Thursday night with my Little Xean Xean.
Then, I've to take one-day-leave.
It's fine to take leave from this week and the following week because my list of clients are busy with their training in order to be stand-by during election on 9th March, 2008.
I thought I won't need to vote because the registration that I've done in June last year seemed to be too simple and not professional.
Is it a good thing or bad thing of being registred as a voter?
I've to be responsible as a voter.
I've to vote for the party which can lead the country in harmony.
It's not only my responsibility.
Every voter has his responsibility.
Voting the best to be leader.

xpp

my lovely site supervisor and the internship place

2008-01-31T22:26:00.000-08:00

my lovely site supervisor is a lady in her fifties.
she is very nice and helpful.
i like to look at her.

i still remembered the first time i met her in the office.
she was so fabulous.
i talked to myself that she is very beautiful.
she is elegant.

she is the superintendent in the counselling unit.
her salary, i don't know, but i think it's around RM7K or above.

i hope i can join the police but the least qualification i also can't pass through.
i wear spectacles and i am too short.

i'm happy to be an intern in Maktab Polis Diraja Malaysia Kuala Lumpur in Cheras.
it's like a big family.
everyone in the office is very soft-spoken and helpful.
the rapport among the staff is very strong.

i'm now one of the family members here.
i'm proud to be one of them.

XPP

Feeling Scared

2008-01-31T22:10:00.000-08:00

i'm scared right now.
it's because i don't know when the supervision will be.
i've been worried for 3 weeks.
unlike other friends, their practical just requires them to write log book about what they have done on each day.
my practical is different.
that's why it's called internship.
i need to fulfill 600 credit hours.
300 hours: administration and management;
180 hours: organising activities and programmes;
080 hours: individual counselling sessions; and
040 hours: group counselling sessions.

when i first received the manual regarding the distribution of credit hours, i was shocked and i felt like i couldn't have a hard time to finish the 180 hours.
now, when i'm in the field, i think i may suffer from looking for clients to fulfill 080 hours and 040 hours.

i just came back from PRS course.
it was a three-day course.
actually, i became the technician for the course.
well, it was my job because i was told to help my lovely site supervisor, Madam Mary.

i am a punctual person but not the other 2 interns.
so, i have to wait them in the morning and to think of reasonable excuses for their lateness these three days.
bored.

besides, one of the speakers in the course was not the right person to give the talk regarding ethics.
she relied on me, and also the other two interns, to answer questions asked by participants.
OMG!
she should have prepared everything and have experience in handling stuff like this.
most probably she would be balcklisted in the speaker's list.

now, i'm looking forward the supervision.
hopefully it'll be done after chinese new year.
then, i can enjoy the whole week.

and i've to prepare and organise my programmes well so that i can impressed my lovely supervisor.

XPP

life as an intern

2008-01-24T05:46:00.000-08:00

i'm now practising in Cheras.
i'm not really with what i'm doing now.
i've to compete with other interns in getting clients and the time to conduct session.
at times, i feel that i'm too kind-hearted.
i really don't know how to say "no" to others.
he's a disabled individual.
it doesn't mean he can take advantage on me.
i've been too helpful to him.
i've to learn how to distance myself from him.
i can't let him always troublesome me.
he nearly ruin my life.
i feel disguising whenever he calls my name.
because i know for sure that he's going to troublesome me.
she's a pretty lady.
it doesn't mean she can get more privilege than me.
let's play it fare and square.
keeping telling me that she has many admirers makes me feel disguising.
listing out that she is the only individual that everyone will refer to shows that she's too self-centred.
it's like all the people in the world are living because of her.

both are too arrogant.
too self-interest.
never show empathy.

now...
he wants me to teach him English language.
she, on the other hand, wants me to teach her Mandarin language.
i've no time to take rest.
how could i squeeze time for their weird purpose.
i learnt Mandarin language since young.
i learnt English language, the most proper type, when i was in form four.
my family paid for the latter.

i've to be strong and independent.
i've to do all my proposal now so that i could finish everything on time.

("v")

Feeling of Upset

2007-10-10T06:45:00.000-07:00

I thought that he'll come to Kuching and accompany me right after my final examinations.
It was just a thought.
No action was taken.
It ended up with nothing.
I've to carry all my luggage by my own without any help from him.
I'm very upset with him.
He has promised me to come over here.
He said he'd compensate me with a trip to Genting Highlands.
I'm waiting for it.
I hope it'll be on.
It's because I don't want to have another disappointment.
It's a very heart-broken feeling.
Hoping that everything will be on plan.

("v")

"曾经沧海难为水"?

2007-09-20T19:45:00.000-07:00

爱情道路的名句。

失败后，突然觉得很难会有下一个他。

下一个他，有把握吗?

若有把握，影子怎会挥之不去呢?

这样公平吗?

是真的付出情感?

或是只想找代替品?

很矛盾，不想去思考。

情感太奇妙了，也太复杂了。

是要接受磨炼?

或是只要一个他?

又或者不想再重复蹈次?

一生一个他，足够吗?

一生很多个他，会显得太充足吗?

有太多事，是理不出一个道理的。

选择从此填上休止符，为的是保护。

但，真的能够保护吗?

太哲学了。

小佩佩

依然是朋友?

2007-09-17T18:00:00.001-07:00

再见后依然是朋友吗?
电影中，这种情形层出不穷。
可是，现实生活里，是不会出现的。
前几天看了"溏心风暴"，常在心与前任男朋友依然保持朋友关系，真的可以吗?
现实生活中，会接受这种情况吗?
再见亦是朋友，办得到吗?

我支持一位好友的意见，如果还没有发生情感，再见依然是朋友是可以的。
纵使其中一方曾向另一方表白，一段还没开始的情感，双方还是可以成为朋友们，因为没有尴尬的场面会出现。

人的一生中，预算不到有多少份情感，只能凭自己的感觉去走该走的路。

可能有时是为了不想伤害和拒绝表白的一方，就草率地答应了成为其另一半。
一直相处到需要作出分开的决定时，双方已经收到伤害。

可能是面子，也可能是自尊心的作祟，令得双方都不再愿意成为朋友。
双方都会尽量减低碰面的机会。
就像向左走与向右走的道理，不让自己见到对方。
如果碰到对方，双方就形同陌生人，互不相识。

陌生、相识、表白、相爱。。。
是件美好的事。
陌生、相识、表白、相爱、分开、陌生。。。
是件令人伤透心的事。

情感是门学问，需要从中学习。
能吸收者，会处理得恰当。
不能吸收者，就会处理得一团糟，甚至需要出动第三者把情感的事给解决掉。

依然是朋友，需要勇气。
不再是朋友，需要决心。
哪个会比较好呢?

小佩佩

放手的时候

2007-09-17T17:58:00.000-07:00

今天听说一位朋友和她拍拖两年的男朋友分手了。
原因我不清楚。
我只晓得最近有个男生追求她。
可能这任男朋友并没有让她觉得有足够的安全感。
相反的，追求她的让她觉得天蹋下来也没什么大不了。
但，一切只是我的猜测。
我希望不是如我所想的。
因为这个原因会让我觉得情感太脆弱了，根本经不起考验。

可是，我很佩服这位朋友，说分手就分手，没有半点犹豫。
也可能她已犹豫了一段时间才作出的决定。

要分手的时候，就得分手。
拖拖拉拉只会让双方觉得更难堪。

情感的伤痕可以让一个人成长，也可以让一个人变得颓废。
选择前者的，会珍惜每段情感。
选择后者的，会反反复复在情感中跌跌撞撞。

情感是没有对与错，只在乎处理方式恰当与否。
该分手时，情感就该放下。
留恋着一段该结束的情感并不好受。

我们应该疼爱自己。
当找对了相处的另一半，就得珍惜。
结束了的情感应该当成一种经验、知识、体验。。。
纵使到最后相伴一生的并不是最爱的，至少可以晓得自己曾经为一端值得珍惜的情感而付出。

这可能看起来对另一半不公平。
但，人生本来就没有什么事是可以达到真真的公平。

分手是为了让大家找到更好的另一半。
分手也是为了大家的未来着想。

该放手时，就得放手。
得勇敢的作出准确的判断。

小佩佩

Arguement(s)

2007-09-17T00:02:00.000-07:00

You might hear this before:
"Arguement is a tool to make your relationship last longer and happier..."
Do you agree with this statement?
I don't.
It's simply because arguement is making your relationship at risk.
It's not a tool to prolong a relationship.
I do agree that mild arguement may boost the relationship to a higher level of trust .
However, it may trigger off any unpleasant feeling forthe bobth parties.
Once one party starts to defense him- or herself, no-so-mild arguement will take place.
This will end up with a real arguement which can lead to tragedy.
So, mild arguement play the role as a precursor of a breaking-up.
You can have a try if you are smart in playing with words.
If you are still a novice in boy-girl relationship, you better don't take the chance.
You can practise on this skill for the future when you are having a girl or boy friend.
It's because practice makes perfect.
Do trust me because I saw too many couples have broken up due to arguements in which they share no idea at all.

("v")

Female

2007-09-16T23:48:00.000-07:00

My dear friend has at least sensed something strange shown by her beloved friend.
Jealousy.
Is it true that every woman is inborn with the jelousy feeling?
I wonder.
I admit that I'm jealous on others who have better body figure, nicer smile and prettier.
It's just a minimal level of jelousy.
It's not up to envious.
Do you feel that someone wants to make you feel small so that she can have a superior feeling?
I'll only do so if the person has reached my limit of patience and tolerance.
Somehow, some ladies are inborn with the attitude.
They like to make others feeling that they are more superior than anyone else.
It's due to their self-esteem.
They have lower self-esteem.
They want to level up their self-esteem.
Thus, they always look down or say something that usually would make others down.
When you are feeling down due to the speech voiced out, they are succeeded.
They have the superior feeling.
No one else is the world can compete with them.
In fact, they are only making fool of themselves.
So, don't be one of them or the victim of this game.
It's not a proper way of socialising or making friends.
It's an hypocrite's action.
Be a true friend to others.

("v")

女生

2007-09-15T06:15:00.001-07:00

很多时候，女生纵使被投诉的脾气很古怪。

在嘻嘻哈哈的谈话中，女生会突然转变面色，把气氛搞的很僵硬。

其实，这件事是能够了解的。

大部分的女生都比较情绪化。

原本还和友人在高谈阔论一些很顺心的事情，心情很开朗的，就因为一个字，又或是一句话，气氛就会变得怪怪的，脾气也跟着一发不可收拾，不只友人遭殃，就连隔壁座的也受到牵连。

大概"城门失火，殃及池鱼"是源自这种情况吧!

是从另一个角度看待这事，女生是非常敏感的生物。

敏感的程度也因人而异。

我也是很敏感的，偶尔会发脾气。

现在比较会掌控自己的情绪，大概是因为曾经当过了大小姐，对于这个角色已经厌倦。

女生要学会掌控自己的情绪，因为情绪管理的恰当，另一半才会幸福。

有时候可以发脾气，但不能太久，因为会惹来别人的反感。

人的一生是个圆圈，又或者称呼为循环。

今天你向某人发脾气，他日某人就会向你发脾气。

就好像一个杀人犯，到了某天，他会受到法律的制裁。

虽然如此，脾气能辩别男生和女生，也有它的用处。

小佩佩

Full Stop

2007-09-14T00:46:00.000-07:00

She told me that everything has reached its full stop.
I wonder if she was telling the truth.
Hopefully, it's real.
It's not that I don't want to be happy...
It's just that she should not have this kind of happiness.
It's buiding her happiness on someone's wound.
It's not good.
It may taste sweet but she'd regret one day.
Life is a cycle.
When you do something bad towards an individual, you'll have to pay for it in the future.
This may sound superstitious, but it's true.
I'd experienced it once and it's enough.
I wish that sheis alright with the decision that she has chosen.
I think it's a rational decision.
Babe, enjoy your life as a normal individual.
Buck up...

~("v")~

Temper

2007-09-05T00:34:00.000-07:00

I don't have good temper.
Whenever I face with difficulty, I'll throw tantrums to others.
However, I've changed.
I try to learn to manage my emotions.
Still, I'll show my temper when I'm driving.
All kinds of harsh words will be coming out from my mouth (excluding bad words).
Although I'm learning to control and manage my emotions, I can't help myself of expressing my anger when I'm not in the right mood.
All my friends know about my temper, including my Little Xean Xean.
Still, they'll bear with me.
What they usually do is leaving me alone so that no one will get "hurt".
It's amazing to have friends that know how to treat a friend using the right way.
My Little Xean Xean-wise, he won't leave me alone.
It's because he'd be scared that I'll do something harmful to myself.
Thus, he'll accompany me when I'm not inthe right mood.
He did make me feel down sometimes.
So, it's his responsibility to cheer me up.
Still, I prefer him just accompanying me by my side rather than talking to me or asking me the reason of feeling down.
At times, he tries to ask and I only can look at him and show him a long face.
After feeling better, I'll talk to him.
This is the difference between man and woman.
Man is a reasonable creature.
Everything must have a reason behind.
While woman is an emotional creature.
Everything will be dealing with mood.

~("v")~

My Partner

2007-08-24T05:11:00.000-07:00

At times, I forget to send message to my partner.
I am too busy with my work.
Since I took up the part time job as a marketing surveyor, I seldom send message to my partner.
Luckily, my partner did not complain much on that.
It is because my partner will "neglect" as well.
My partner has too much work to do.
Sending message and phone calling are the two essential activities to keep in touch.
Maintaining distanced-love is a hard job.
Still, I will keep on to do so.
It is because I love my partner.

~("v")~

Love Story

2007-08-23T02:15:00.000-07:00

The girl never met with the guy although they worked in the same shopping complex.
Their working locations were just opposite to each other.
Somehow, they never met in a coincidence.

However, they met each other one year later in the same shopping complex.
Both of them fell in love.

When they talked about their working experience, both were shocked to know that they were working there one year ago.

It is a better way of getting them together after a year.
They are more mature in handling their relationship.
If they had met one year ago, their love story will be different from now.

Love, is a powerful tool that pulls you and your partner together.

~("v")~

My little Piggy

2007-08-23T01:04:00.000-07:00

I like to draw this piggy.
This piggy was introduced to me by a closed friend from Ipoh.
She taught me how to draw it properly.
I really like it because it is very cute.
And it looks like me as well.
I like draw this picture in other people's computer with the hope of they will remember me all the while.
Do practise drawing this piggy.

~("v")~

占有欲

2007-08-23T00:46:00.000-07:00

刚刚开始喜欢一个人，会是很大方。
任何事都是无所谓。

当这份喜欢的感觉转变成爱意时，就会开始出现吃醋的现象。
凡是接触到另外一位异性，就会吵吵闹闹。

当这份爱意转变成情感时，占有欲就会慢慢浮现。
什么事都希望自己是第一位看到的。

并不是想要控制你，只是身不由己。
可能这是爱的天性，希望自己是另一半的唯一分享对象。

曾听说两个人会喜欢的感觉，是因为看不清对方。
当双方已经了解对方，并已进入了情感时，也就是分离的时候。

其实，一个人会想占有另一个人，是因为深深的情感，不想放弃一段情感。
可是，很多人会认为被占有很不自在，没有了自我。

对我而言，被占有其实是幸福的。
并不是我不喜欢自由，只是当你喜欢一个人时，你就会想被占有，也希望占有那个人。

占有欲，是种浪漫。

你找到你想占有的对象了吗?

小佩佩

天使

2007-08-16T05:58:00.000-07:00

天上飞来了一位天使。。。
她对我说: “你将会遇上一个你爱的人。”
不久后，我遇上了甲。。。
可是，甲离我而去了。。。

天使又再一次飞来告诉我: “你将会遇上一个爱你的人。”
不久后，我遇上了乙。。。
但是，我离乙而去了。。。

这次后，天使不再出现了。。。
我在茫茫人海内寻找丙。。。
麻木寻找，怎样也找不到。。。

天使不会再出现。。。
另一半也不再出现。。。

是悲哀?
或是庆幸?
无从了解。。。

小佩佩

Emotion Vs Cognition

2007-08-12T06:12:00.000-07:00

there is always arguement between emotion and cognition...
female is said to be emotional creature...
male is said to be cognitive creaturre...
when an emotional creature meets with a cognitive creature, what will happen?
i wonder in the first place...
actually, it is a perfect match...
it is because female will see things that a male does not see and vice versa...
thus, when the two different creatures get together, it certainly is a good combination...
XPP is an emotional girl...
LXX is a cognitive boy...
when they both met in 2003, it was a destinated journey...
and of course, there are a lot more couples having their lovely and sweet romance...
if you are a female, have you found your cognitive part?
if you are a male, have you found your emotional part?

Xiao Pei Pei

天坪座与水瓶座的故事

2007-08-03T20:39:00.001-07:00

听说，天坪座和水瓶座的人很合得来。
你认为呢?
有位天坪座的男生，在一个偶然的机会下，认识了水瓶座的女生。
从开始的普通朋友关系，慢慢地发展成纯纯的爱情故事，至到成熟的两性关系，成为了无数人的盼望与期待。
天坪座的男生，很爱水瓶座的女生。
水瓶座的女生，也很爱天坪座的男生。
两者就在成熟的两性关系中成长。
很多人会觉得好奇，天坪座的男生和水瓶座的女生是怎样维持这段感情的呢?
天坪座的男生说: “ 因为我爱她。”
水瓶座的女生说: “ 因为我爱他。”
两者以爱为首，培养出真挚的爱情。
你呢?
真挚的爱情敲敲你的心门了吗?

小佩佩

单恋

2007-08-03T20:38:00.000-07:00

单恋，是件美好的事。
但，如果单恋的对象一而再，再而三地伤害单恋者，又会怎样呢?
原以为，单恋的对象快乐，单恋者就跟着快乐。
事实并非如此。
每次看见单恋的对象与另一半兴高采烈的在逛街，一股心酸从单恋者的心里涌了出来。
多么地希望，单恋的对象的另一半就是单恋者。
多么地希望，单恋的对象与单恋者长厢丝守，永不分开。
与单恋的对象开花结果，是单恋者的心理话。
可是，单恋者选择了默默守候。
单恋者，压抑心里的话，认为还不是时候对单恋的对象告白。
自欺欺人的情况层出不穷。
单恋者就这样，日复一日地欺骗自己，直到懊悔的心出现时，才猛猛敲自己的头，自言自语说“如果。。。”
“如果”，已不能改变任何事。
没有回头的机会。
没有可退的后路。
没有伤心的余地。
没有悲哀的理由。
流逝的单恋对象，就像流失的时间，错过了，就不再回来。
喜欢，就得开口。
被拒绝，是一种甜蜜，一种学习，一种经验，不是一种耻辱。
等到单恋的对象已和另一半举行盛大的婚礼，交换无名指上的戒指时，一切已是定局。
迟了，就是迟了。
珍惜身边人，好好对待自己。

小佩佩

情感

2007-07-31T20:16:00.001-07:00

在爱情的道路上，没有对错。
当甲人对乙人说:“ 你做错了。。。”
其实，甲人并不了解，乙人对情感的看法。
在感情上很难分出对错，只能够说处理不当。
但，在甲人的眼里，乙人是错的。
人与人的情感，需要花很多时间，才能够了解。
可是，时间的长短，并不能保证能够彻底地了解情感。
当一个人已经彻底了解情感后，又必需花上好一阵子的时间，学习如何处理情感。
情感的处理，因人而异。
有的人，很幸运，初恋到结婚，都平淡无事。
有的人，运气还不赖，初恋到结婚，很少跌倒。
有的人，运气败坏，初恋到结婚，一路上跌跌撞撞，身体已没毫无损伤的地方。
有的人，学习精神佳，可是偏偏不会好好地处理情感。
有的人，并没有认真学习，但，却能凡事处理恰当。
情感，是混合了运气和学习的事情。
丙人与丁人的故事，又是怎样的呢?
你和你的另一半，在处理情感时，达到共识吗?

小佩佩

感觉又回来了。。。

2007-07-31T20:13:00.000-07:00

听说，最近感觉已消失。。。
可是，为何强烈的感觉又一点点地从裂缝中，慢慢地侵蚀我的心呢?
感觉好像回到从前，回到小鹿乱撞的时候。。。
好享受这种感觉。。。
人，总是在失去后，才懂得珍惜。。。
每当这种感觉回来时，真的好想用自己的双手把它捉紧，慢慢地享受这种得来不易的感觉。。。
但，现实太残酷了，感觉没了就是没了，也没办法回到过去。。。
戏里头的故事，回到从前，改变事情原来的结果，只是一种催眠的手法，让我们堕入一个自我陶醉的环境。。。
戏如人生，应该是由此而来的吧。。。
自我陶醉，自我催眠，都会使失去了的感觉，好像才擦身而过，享受不已。。。
感觉回来了，是真的吗?
消失了的感觉，又真的不能再一次享受吗?
再一次享受那种感觉时，裂痕会出现吗?
裂痕出现了，又能够补救吗?
感觉，好抽象的东西。。。
摸不着，看不到。。。
只能凭自己的心去感受。。。
开心的感觉，令人神采飞扬。。。
伤心的感觉，令人失去神采。。。
形容词，往往会偏向负面的。。。
就像遗憾，别离，痛心，舍不得。。。
真面的形容词，少之又少。。。
感觉，令人又爱又恨。。。
每当美好的感觉来临时，记得把它牢牢地捉紧。。。
溜走了的感觉，每回想起，已是曾经。。。

小佩佩

XPP

2007-07-28T21:26:00.000-07:00

XPP is my nickname...
X - Xiao
P - Pei
P - Pei
all my friends call me ah pei...
when i was young, my parents and relatives liked to call me pei pei...
now, ah pei is more appropriate...
there is another nickname which only a person can use...
a very special person in my life...
he calls me XP...
and, of course, in turn, i call him...
my Little Xean Xean...
December 13th, 2003...
a date to remember...
October 6th...
always be a special date in my life...
libra...
a horoscope which is a perfect match of aquarius...
what do you think?
("v")

Gay

2007-07-28T21:15:00.000-07:00

gay,
just like lesbian,
layman thinks it's abnormal,
it's an illness,
psychologists think it's a disorder,
well,
it isn't,
it's just a different way of expressing love,
why is it people like to claim it as abnormal when majority of the people do not show it?
so think of the uniqueness of everyone,
no one is the same in this world,
respect the uniqueness,
respect the dignity,
treat everyone the same.

Lesbian

2007-07-28T20:41:00.000-07:00

lesbian,
layman always thinks it's a disorder,
it happens because of psychological problem(s),
i don't think so,
let's think about when a man was trapped inside a woman's body,
how should the reaction be?
people like to call them abnormal,
but,
do be sincere and concerned,
it's not a fault,
repsect everyone's dignity is the most important matter,
do feel empathised to lesbians,
they are human-being as well.

Love

2007-07-28T20:29:00.000-07:00

love,
happens when a person meets another person,
with an unidentifiable feeling,
the feeling is comfort,
sweet,
always in one's mind,
driving one to be crazy,
losing rational thinking & cognition,
layman always thinks that,
love happens between two persons in the opposite sex,
how about lesbians and gays?
they are falling in love as well,
love,
happens to everyone,
either to the opposite sex,
or within the same sex,
psychologist may say that lesbians and gays are abnormal,
they gave gender identity disorder,
love,
just happens to anyone,
without any signal,
or indication,
love,
is complicated,
when a person falls into it,
then the person will know,
love,
is not a bibg deal,
just a matter of expressing a person's feeling,
the unidentifiable feeling.